I hate reading motivational material that blasphemes me about the importance of integrity and honesty for their own sake. Somehow, it always seems to irritate me, because the writers come off like angry preachers and gurus. Hardly inspiring.
I have always been better inspired by things that are made to look attractive and fun. I have always been seduced by the promise of a more beautiful life and rarely by the promise of a more true and worthy life.
For me, the best case for making honesty is how beautiful it is… how clean and clear it is to make the journey from current reality to dream.
When people know exactly where they are, they can go anywhere from there. But being “lost” is a function of dishonesty. And when we are lost, or dishonest, wherever we go from there is wrong. When we start with a false reading, there is no way home.
Like Bob Dylan's rolling stone, we don't know who we are. We feel, at heart, "like the unknown." Truth, on the other hand, is clear, complete, and very obvious. It is solid and strong, so it can hold us steady as we climb. "Truth," said the poet John Keats, "is beauty."
The more honest we are with others and ourselves about the reality of the moment, the more energy and focus we gather. We don’t have to keep track of what we say to one person or what we say to another. One of the best and most positive explanations of the beauty of personal integrity is expressed by Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Branden, unlike most writers on the subject, sees truth and integrity as positive parts of the self-esteem process. His point is not that we owe it to someone else’s sense of morality to be honest, but that we owe it to ourselves.
"One of the great self-deceptions," Branden says, "is to tell yourself, 'Only I will know.' Only I will know that I am a liar; only I will know that I am dealing unethically with people who trust me; only I will know that I have no intention of keeping my promises. The implication is that my judgment does not matter and only the judgment of others counts." Branden's writings on personal integrity are inspiring because they are directed at creating a happier, stronger self, not at a universal appeal to morality.
One way we describe a sloppy, unfinished work of art is as “messy.” The problem with lying, or lying by omission, is that it makes the whole thing so incomplete—messy. The truth always completes the picture—any picture. And when a picture is complete, whole, and integrated, we see it as “beautiful.”
I’ll even hear people—usually people you can’t trust with anything—described as “messy.” And conversely, people you can always count on to be honest with you are often referred to as “beautiful.” Truth and beauty become impossible to separate. Truth brings you to a higher level of confidence in your relationships with others and with yourself. It reduces fear and increases your sense of personal mastery. Lies and half-truths will always weigh you down, while the truth will clear your mind and give you the energy and clarity needed for self-motivation.